Reflection and Remembrance
by Sithstrukk
Summary: Poems written after Qui-Gon's death, mainly from Obi-Wan's POV. Moving on and mourning is hard enough, but Qui-Gon used to be present everywhere... and now he's gone. That makes it even harder. Multigenre, mostly angst. Some OOC Obi-Wan.
1. Chapter 1: Tree

**Hey, all! I wrote a collection of poems like this for the Jedi Apprentice fandom… so now I'm doing some for the time after Qui-Gon's death. It may move into Obi-Wan training Anakin… I dunno. These poems really won't have a particular order. Enjoy!**

**Tree**

I saw

A tree

And saw

You.

It was green

Like your lightsaber

And was strong and tall

Just like you.

It was compassionate;

It offered me shade.

Compassionate like you.

It moved with the wind

And stayed out in the rain

And slept under the stars

Just like you.

It brought on grief,

For that tree's living

But it brought on hope,

For that tree lives on.


	2. Chapter 2: Memorial

**Memorial**

To mourn

A man worth mentioning

In the massive halls

Of the Jedi Archives.

Jedi live simply, but

You deserve a memorial

And a garden

And a fountain

And a statue

I think.

But Jedi live simply...

But what if they have passed?

Not to sound cruel, but

Then they say if they gave

You a memorial

They'd have to give one to everyone else

So I'll mourn

But with my own memorial

In my heart.


	3. Chapter 3: Youngling

**Youngling**

I thought  
I would crack  
When I heard a  
Youngling  
Ask about you  
I was scared  
I wouldn't  
Have the courage  
To say to the living  
You were dead.


	4. Chapter 4: Reeft

**Reeft**

There's someone new you can meet, Master.

His name is Reeft.

He was an old friend of mine

That you never got to know.

But you should see him around now

So say hi.


	5. Chapter 5: Reunions

**Reunions**

I'm sure Tahl's a little happy now

She was always going to wait for you

She should be happy she doesn't have to wait anymore

Now that you're with her.

But Tahl's not that selfish

And neither are you

You both know that

One person's pleasure is another person's pain.


	6. Chapter 6: Symbol

**Symbol**

Another old friend of yours stopped by the Temple today  
By the name of Clee. Apparently she didn't know  
Until she saw your lightsaber on my belt  
Instead of my own.


	7. Chapter 7:Thinking Dark Thoughts for You

**Thinking Dark Thoughts For You**

I said a thought  
Aloud  
For you today.  
I said  
I'm glad that  
Lurking dark side menace  
Is good and dead.


	8. Chapter 8: Bearing Bad News

**Bearing Bad News**

Master,

I hope you've got no more friends

Who haven't found out yet

Because I can't stand another scene,

Or another bundle of kind words,

After months and months have passed.

I don't want to see grief anymore

I don't want to sit and hear their pain.

I'm tired of moving others along

When I've got to move on myself.

I can't believe this is how it is:

When a Master dies,

The Padawan brings the bad news.


	9. Chapter 9: A New Council Member

**A New Council Member**

I'm deathly sure

This premonition is right

Because I dwell on it

Every time I step into the Jedi Council Room-

You were expected to join them

Eventually, but you never did.

But you were still in line,

And a candidate for the next seat.

It was interesting to see what

Master would be next

When the position was passed on.

Glancing at that new seat

Which was supposed to be yours

It's filled by another one-view,

Code following Jedi;

Wise and strong,

But not unique.


	10. Chapter 10: Observing

**Observances**

Watching Padawans spar,

I noticed the training

Was so vigorous

And the instructor seemed more purposeful

And goal centered.

I wonder if

It's just me

Or if sparring has gotten harder

And more important

Since what happened

To you.


	11. Chapter 11: The Chancellor

**The Chancellor**

The Chancellor recognized me,

I was over at the Senate

He seemed awfully interested in

How I was getting by.

I told him I was well.

Perfectly fine.

The Chancellor

Had a strange look in his eye

But he smiled sympathetically,

Remarking on how much of a hero

You were.


	12. Chapter 12: Hologram

**Hologram**

One mission coming up

And I'm browsing a collection of

Profiles in The Archives

Page after page

Of Jedi names

Age, sex, status, hologram.

I went through each one with blinding speed

Just trying to find information

On some old, elusive Knight.

But when I got to the J's

My focus slipped

And I was frozen

As your hologram stared back at me.


	13. Chapter 13: Look Alikes

**Look Alikes**

There are too many

Strong and fit men

With long hair and beards

At the Temple.

Most of them don't look like you, though,

But one did.

All I did was round a corner, and

A tall man with broad shoulders,

A strong build,

And brown hair with gray streaks

Had his back to me.

For an instant

I thought it was you

Until they turned around...

…Turns out it was a woman...


	14. Chapter 14: Footprints

**Footprints**

I saw two sets of footprints

In that small, sandy shore by the lake

One set was smaller and lagged behind the other,

Which had longer strider and bigger steps.

Somehow in the lake,

Master and Padawan were swimming, bonding,

Like we once did.

But now it's different, because

There is one set of footprints

That used to be yours,

That walked your own path

That I have taken up

And replaced as my own.

My own footprints have some

Catching up to do,

Which Anakin make up for,

When he's of apprenticeship age.


	15. Chapter 15: Metamorphic Rock

**Metamorphic Rock**

I stepped into a classroom

to see how Anakin was doing

they were learning about a type of rock

that forms from any rock,

as its morphed by heat and pressure

to make a new rock.

I watched Anakin,

distant and arrogant of his peers

and I worry;

but I know I have to train him;

especially when I flash back to

the heat of the blade going through you

and the pressure on me to save you

And the promise I made; 

hopefully our efforts combined

will morph this naive boy

into a Jedi to be proud of.


	16. Chapter 16: Red Bench

**Red Bench**

Two Jedi

sitting on a red bench

older and younger;

sitting on a red bench.

I really wished it was you and me,

sitting on a red bench

because that would mean you were living, if you were

sitting on a red bench.

So I walked along

but once I looked back

to see the back of the bench,

and the backs of the people

sitting on a red bench

and a sign on the back of the bench:

"Paint Still Wet."

So I keep walking on…

Happy we weren't

sitting on a red bench.


	17. Chapter 17: Going, Going, Gone

**Going, Going, Gone**

They were the Knights of his generation,

more rebels than usual

and more men than normal

with iron fists

but compassionate command,

in which they followed a path

and did what was

right

to accomplish the mission of

peace

and to preserve the

Republic.

And they led

Padawans

and tried to make them

better

than they ever were.

But they can't see their efforts;

how they led to success

as they're all fading away and leaving

as we're all rising,

the new Knights,

all owed to those who are

gone.


	18. Chapter 18: Who Remember You

**Who Remember You**

It is

eerie,

empty walking

On the steps,

in the halls,

And in the tallest tower, too.

It spreads from Naboo

to Coruscant and Tatooine.

An empty space inside those

Who remember you.


	19. Chapter 19: Clouds

**Clouds**

They block out the stars I'd see tonight.  
A million stars.  
They're chocking up  
A perfect starry night  
With water vapor fluff.  
Away from cities,  
I never can wait  
To see stars in honor of you,  
But they're blocked out by foul weather tonight;  
Clouds.


	20. Chapter 20: Insecure

**Insecure**

A brawl is stirring

It's beginning to grow

Like a headache;

Perpetual trouble

Bothers me day and night

I'm insecure and unsure

Without you,

If I'm a worthy Knight.


	21. Chapter 21: Invisible Hangnail

**Invisible Hangnail**

I got a great pain on the side of my thumb one time.  
I couldn't hold a lightsaber a certain way.  
Qui-Gon seemed irked and demanded to know what was wrong,  
so I sheepishly explained the sting of my thumb.  
Certain people would have rolled their eyes, and he almost did.  
He told me it sounded like a hangnail.  
But I showed him my thumb and said I hadn't seen a hangnail.  
I bet he did roll his eyes as he told me it was invisible.  
I guess I believed him, and blew on it to dull the pain.  
Maybe it was just a nerve, I said to myself,  
though I wasn't sure if there were any on the edge of a thumb.  
Jinn played games and said there sure was.  
I remember believing him, but that wasn't a good thing, because I wasn't sure.  
He told me to watch how gullible I let myself be,  
and also to watch out for invisible hangnails,  
because they're out there to punish Padawans who don't study enough.  
That's certainly a story for the holobooks.


	22. Chapter 22: Honored

**Honored**

When I was 12

A dozen kids

Would have been honored to be his Padawan.

Now, too many to count

Are honored just to have known him.


	23. Chapter 23: All the Pointlessness

**All the Pointlessness**

Knights in my situation are different from me.  
Most have moved on,  
Settled down to pick  
A Padawan,  
Teach like their dead Masters did.  
I'm different.  
I feign peace of mind.  
-

I'm still grieving.

I know every moment staying sad  
Is pointless in all points.  
I could point out the pointlessness from memory.

I wouldn't need a prompt.


	24. Chapter 24: Mission Barrage

**Mission Barrage**

Can't pause and think in a volley of fire.  
Can't stop, not for a second, in a mission barrage.  
Maybe that's a good thing, grief drives me to be busy  
and I immerse myself in dozens of missions.  
You can't have an idle mind  
I can't think about you in  
a mission barrage.


	25. Chapter 25: Rule

**Rule**

I broke a revered rule back on Naboo, didn't I?  
Padawans must ask permission before they use  
Their Master's lightsabers.  
The Master's lightsaber is to be treated respectfully.  
If you use it,  
You better not scratch it  
Or dent it  
Or tweak it  
Or use it without asking  
Or do un-Jedi-like things with it.  
I used it without asking  
And I killed with it.  
I have broken the rule,  
The last to use my Master's saber.


	26. Chapter 26: Last of the Frog Catchers

**Last of the Frog-Catchers**

Qui-Gon was a genius;

He taught some children

The quick art

Of frog catching by the lake.

From then on he was a hero

And the children waved at him,

The frog-catching hero.

I didn't say anything about anything

Until their caretaker cornered me,

Told me she's sorry,

But it's about time they knew,

Because they haven't seen him in forever.

We sat the down

By the lake

Told them gently,

Until they figured out

They were the last of the frog catchers.


	27. Chapter 27: Light

**I forgot to thank RoMythe for help with the title last chapter. :) In addition, this is a general head's up that I **_**think **_**I'm going to end this fic at thirty chapters. If any more inspiration strikes up I'll start writing again, but I think I want to write a different set of poems. Maybe Anidala?  
About this poem: I wrote it back in November before I wrote this fic, but it seemed to fit in pretty well. You'll have to excuse it if it's not up to the usual standards. It is somewhat SiriWan.**

**Light**

There's a light

In the emptiness

Through the day

That used to be dark

As any night.

There is little hope,

There was little hope in life.

It's not war

Yet it won't get better

It's not war

So it can't get better;

The situation I'm in.

I found a solution.

Siri.

A solution to the loneliness,

The light.

But you wouldn't approve,

Would you?

So I extinguished the light.

To make a dead Master happy.


	28. Chapter 28: I Will Not Slouch

**I Will Not Slouch**

I will not let my emotions show through.  
I will not slouch.  
Slouching is pathetic-  
I, a little orphan, lost a master,  
Slouching towards you.  
No.  
I will not slouch.  
I'll let my spirit show through;  
Determination that makes me  
Sit up straight  
And hold my head high-  
I, my Master's legacy.  
Is that reason to slouch?


	29. Chapter 29: It Would be Nice

**It Would be Nice**

It's nice.  
Really, that's all it is.  
Nice.  
Nice Anakin is doing well.  
Nice the Temple runs smoothly.  
It's... nice.  
It could be nicer  
If you were here.


	30. Chapter 30: Change

**Change**

I don't understand.

Things in life fell into a balance

So quickly

After your death.

But you were the balance

That kept me grounded

In life.

Things fell into place

And rebalanced

Because the galaxy is used to change.

We hate it so much,

The pain always lasts

After death.

But I'm used to the change.

_ooooo_

**Well, that's the very last poem. That's thirty poems. Hope you enjoyed this set! Reason why I'm stopping this fic… I figured it was enough for now, and I wanted a change of pace. Next poem set? Poems about Boba Fett; cleverly named "Poems Fett" (it popped into my head and I fell in love with the title, mmkay?). Check it out if you even vaguely like the great Boba Fett or my poems!**

**Thanks for all of you who read and reviewed. I can't believe so many people put this on their favorite stories list. It really means a lot to me! Don't take it off story alert, though, because I may have some new poems for this… and they'll come by the dozen eventually. Thanks for reading!**


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